Regrets

Regrets

Written By MegaZone

Except Wish You Were Here
Written By

Roger Waters and David Gilmour

Performed By

Pink Floyd

Cast:
Man, about 21, sneakers, jeans, T-shirt, denim jacket
Jen, about 23, sneakers, jeans, halter top/T-shirt

Setting:
Bedroom with a bed, chair and a table - upon which is some paper and a pen, and a nightstand with a pitcher of water, a glass, and a lamp. An air of sparseness should be apparent.

Music:
Wish You Were Here (henceforth referred to as WYWH), from the album by the same name, by Pink Floyd.

Contact via:
Phone: (510) 527-0944
Email: megazone@megazone.org
Mail:
MegaZone
917 Virginia Street
Berkeley, CA 94710-1831

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

[WYWH plays, Man enters the room and drops his jacket onto the floor by the table after removing a few folded printouts. He turns on the lamp (lights up). He looks distraught and distracted, something weighs heavily on his mind. He sits at the table and starts to write a letter. He hesitates for a bit, collecting his thoughts, then begins in earnest. Man speaks the lines as he writes.]

[WYWH fades as the lyrics end]

Man:

[writing] I'm sorry Jen, sorry for everything. I never thought that I could miss you so much. It seemed so easy to throw away what we had, life without you would be a breeze. I thought I could return to what I had before... I thought I'd have more freedom. I thought...

[Man stops, tenses, and stands suddenly, as if in rage, upsetting the table and scattering its contents]
[Yelling]

Oh, I don't know what I thought! I need you... I need you so bad. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry! If only I had known then what I know now. Heh.. listen to me spout cliches... Fuck! I don't know what to say. I was never very good at expressing my emotions. Always kept them bottled up inside... But you knew that didn't you? Of course you did. I resented it, resented anyone knowing too much about me. So I got you out of my life...

[calmer, sad]...out of my goddamn life... Dammit Jen, I want you back...

[Jen enters through door behind Man, unnoticed by him]

It was just that you were always analyzing me, trying to figure me out...

[Man shakes his head and sighs]

...Why did you always have to be such a good judge?

Jen:

I never tried to judge you, just understand.

[Man whirls in fear and surprise]

M:

Jen! But... I... I mean... How... What are you doing here?

J:

You wanted me back, so I came. I can leave if you want me to.

[Man seems puzzled, indecisive for a moment]

M:

No!... I mean don't go. Please don't go.

J:

You never realize what you have until it's gone. You don't always get a second chance...

[Man still seems nervous, skittish]

...Don't be afraid, I won't bite. [coy smile] Unless you want me to.

[Man chuckles]

M:

So, why me? Why do I get a second chance?

J:

Because I love you, and I know you love me. I didn't want you to be alone forever.

[Jen looks him in the eyes]

And I know.

[Man breaks the eye contact]

M:

I don't deserve it! After what I did... That's it, you've come back to persecute me, right? You want to torture me, tease me. That's it isn't it?! Well, fuck you! I'm not playing the game.

J:

No. There's no need for me to hurt you. You hurt yourself more than I am capable, do yourself more harm then anyone else. If only you'd accept help...

[Man cuts her off]

M:

Help... Yeah, I'll take help. Who's going to help me, huh? Who?! No one can know what I'm feeling. No one can stop the pain. You know what it's like to go through life fearing yourself, fearing what you could do? Scared to open up at all, that once you started you couldn't stop, not until you had gone too far. And I was right, wasn't I? Wasn't I?!

J:

You don't have to bare yourself...

[cut off again]

M:

Well, you were the one who always wanted me to let my emotions out. Tear down the wall, you said. Let it all out. Release it. I was too frightened to do it, I knew I was too weak. And your goading sure didn't help... Yeah, you meant well. In the end you did get what you wanted though, didn't you... I did let go...

[Man turns on Jen menacingly. She calmly stands her ground]

Wasn't quite what you expected, was it? Heh... It wasn't what I expected... I let it all out all right, all of it. The fear, anger, hate, loathing... Oh, it came out all right... And I was fucking right! I couldn't control it! Too much, too fast...

"The rusty wire, that holds the cork, that keeps the anger in, gives way, and suddenly, it's day again." I always liked Floyd, I like Roger's attitude. The world sucks, the only thing increasing is the amount of suffering. How the hell can anyone be happy in this world? How?! There's no fucking way to honestly look at the world and still be happy! And you... Always bugging me... always asking questions, making me face my fears... face the hate... the pain... the...

[Man turns away from Jen, almost in tears, pulls himself together, and turns back]

I'm sorry for blowing up at nyou. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry....

[Man holds Jen by the shoulders and looks her in the eye]

I'm sorry for killing you.

[Jen nods in acceptance and pulls Man into an embrace]

M:

I just lost it, all that anger and pain, it was too much to control. I didn't mean to hit you so hard. Hell, I didn't mean to hit you at all. But you were so right, as usual. You got behind my defenses, found all my weak points. That scared me. I lashed out. I always told you that I was scared of what I could do. I was right there wasn't I? God! The one fucking time I wish I was wrong!

[Man pulls away from Jen and searches through the papers on the floor for the printouts]

M:

I wrote a poem today. It says a lot about how I feel. I'd like to read it to you.

[Man pulls a small baggie of white powder (like powdered sugar) out of his jacket. He mixes it with a glass of water from the pitcher. As he does this Jen walks over and rests her hand on his shoulder. He raises the glass as if to drink and looks at her questioningly. She nods. He drinks the mixture, showing a little discomfort at the taste. He puts the glass down and they sit on the bed, his arm around her.]

M:

You were right you know, I do feel better know. My mind is so much clearer. It made my decision all that much easier. This shouldn't take long to work. I used a bit more than the book called for, to be safe.

[Man and Jen kiss and Man turns off the lamp (lights down). They get under the covers. They lie together, holding one another]

M:

I love you Jen.

J:

And I love you.

[WYWH in strong]

How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here.

The End

© Copyright 1993 by MegaZone