Distance

Distance

Laying on the edge of sleep,
falling yet still,
thinking of futures past,
a new old friend.
disarming in smile,
more so in words,
trusting and open,
understanding,
so rarely true.
secure and comfortable,
as a childhood memory,
of an innocent world,
inexpressively appreciated,
in a world found guilty.
I will push you,
prove to you unworthiness,
refusing your offer.
part of me,
hidden away,
cannot allow my guilt,
to taint your heart.
I will push hard,
make you hate me,
and let you push me away.
Taking comfort,
in the familiar,
aching of empty arms.

-megazone, being my friend is a lot of work, 9/9/95